DO YOU LOVE YOUR BODY?
Happy Valentine’s Day friend! Regardless of your feelings around Valentine’s Day (i.e. “it’s a silly commercialized holiday” to being the girl who is decked out in pink for the day, in eager anticipation of all things flowers + chocolates +rom coms etc.), I’m seizing this day to spark a conversation with you, around loving your body. Yes, the topic of body image, a doozy of a subject for far too many women.
I recognize that a) reading the phrase “body image” might have just made you clammy and b) made you decide that you simply want to gloss over this blog entry. I encourage you friend, to “lean in” and read on, because your feelings about your body profoundly impact not only the way you carry yourself, but also your relationships, your mental and emotional health, and how you show up in life.
If you struggle with body image, one, you aren’t alone. It is, unfortunately, incredibly common for women to struggle with their appearance. In an era of selfies, zoom calls, mirrors, Instagram, Tik Tock…it is easy to experience negative thoughts toward your body if you aren’t measuring up to whatever the current culture idolizes or what you believe the “ideal body” looks like.
But here’s the thing, you don’t suddenly arrive as an uber body confident, radiant female when you modify your appearance via… weight loss, makeup, plastic surgery, a new outfit, more muscle tone, or clearer skin. You must change from the INSIDE out to be at peace in your earth suit.
“The number one secret to a better body image is this: It isn’t about the body at all. People of all shapes, sizes, colors, abilities, and health statuses can suffer from negative body image. And conversely, people of all shapes, sizes, colors, abilities, and health statuses can have positive body image. Why is this? Body image is much more an indication of your internal and emotional state. When you feel confident, you are more prone to positive body image. When you feel anxious and depressed, you’re more prone to negative body image.”
– Amy Harman, LMFT, CEDS
And another really important note… Negative body image and poor self-esteem can uptick when aspects of your life are not under your control. (HELLO pandemic life)
Some ways to begin mindfully cultivating a more positive body image:
Mind your girl chat – Be aware of the conversations you participate in. “When women bond over hating their bodies, they are sending a message that it’s normal and expected that women should be insecure and uncomfortable in their bodies and around food.” - Amy Harman, LMFT, CEDS
Mind your self-talk – What are you saying about your body? Do you tend to berate yourself, maybe not outwardly but perhaps you have an uber critical inner voice? Do you speak poorly about your body in front of others? Try positively shifting this conversation. Start with focusing on what you do appreciate about your body and the many things it enables you to do in a day.
Mind your posture - Stand tall, with your shoulders back, allowing your body to take up space. This is seemingly so subtle, but it can really impact your confidence.
Mind who you follow and how much time you spend on social media. This is SO important. Pay attention to how you feel when you see a particular person’s post…do you suddenly feel less than? Does it lead you to feel negative about your body? *Side note, if you tend to scroll regularly you might not even consciously recognize that you feel this way. Start with just noticing if your mood changes when you get off social media.
Mind your mental and emotional state – negative emotions (i.e. feelings of loneliness and unworthiness) can trigger negative body image thoughts and poor self-esteem. Try journaling to get those thoughts out of your head.
Approach your body with kindness. Pray and ask God to help you see yourself with kind eyes. Speak to your body with kindness. Dress in a way that you feel both comfortable in your skin and confident. Treat your body with kindness by fueling it with feel good foods, giving it the rest it deserves, and moving it regularly.
Happy Valentine’s Day friends! May you fall more in love this year with the awesome body you’ve been gifted with and the way it enables you to show up in the world.